Keeping Your Kids Safe Online

In a world where everyone's so connected by technology, it begins to feel like a very small world.  That makes it easy to forget how big it really is.  This week I was reminded of how big the world still is when it was discovered that a child in my life had been using the internet without permission and making connections with total strangers.  Fortunately, her mother discovered the situation before she met anyone with bad intentions.  I decided it was the perfect opportunity to do some research and put together a post about keeping our children safe online.

My first and best piece of advice is to have clear rules.  My children know what is expected of them anytime they get online.  Here are some of the rules in our house:

1.  Mom & Dad must know all of your passwords.  We are your parents.  We are responsible for you until you are 18 and there is nothing that is too private to share with us.  (Most of the time, just knowing that Mom  & Dad can check up on what they're doing is enough to prevent bad decisions.  We rarely feel the need to actually check the kids' accounts.)

2.  Mom & Dad must be 'friends' with you.  Whether it's Facebook, Google+, or any other social site, we must be in all of your friends lists, circles, etc.

3.  Privacy settings for social sites must be set to the strictest settings. 

4.  Personal information is private.  Do not give it to anyone, any time, for any reason.  Period.  If there is a legitimate need to give a piece of information out, get a parent to approve it.

5.  If you don't know the person in the real world, they are not your friend.  (There are certain exceptions to this rule, but they must be approved by a parent.  For example, our daughter is allowed to be friends with our son's girlfriend's little sister even though they have never met in person.)

There are many other smaller specific rules, but those are the big basic rules.  If you talk to your children and let them help establish your family rules, not only will you have an opportunity to explain why each rule should be on the list, but they may actually suggest rules you hadn't thought of.  In addition, children are more likely to follow the rules when they have been allowed to help make them.  Once you have agreed on a set of rules, decide together on the consequences for breaking them.  

If you feel you need help teaching your children about internet safety, don't worry.  There are several websites dedicated to teaching children internet safety.  PBS Kids created a fun game site called Webonauts Internet Academy.  There children complete 12 missions while learning about web safety and good citizenship.  The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children also have a website specifically for internet safety.  Net Smartz Kids has e-books, games, videos, and even a club; all focused on teaching children to be safe online.  Geared more toward parents, SafeKids.com includes guides for social websites, tips for preventing cyberbullying & sexting, a family contract for online safety, and more.

For many kids, simply being aware of the dangers online, and the consequences for breaking rules is enough to keep them on the straight and narrow.  Some children, however, need more supervision.  If you have one of those children, you may wish to check out Gizmo's list of free internet filters.  Or, if you want a paid internet filter program, look into programs such as NetNanny, CovenantEyes, or SafeEyes.  Internet filters generally block or allow websites based on content, but they can also send you a report of what your children have been doing online.  Many are also able to monitor activity across multiple devices.  Don't forget that your children can access the internet through their phones, mp3 players, and e-readers as well. Just because they are not on the laptop, doesn't mean they're safe.

In the end, keeping your children safe in the virtual world is the same as keeping them safe in the real world.  Talk to them and make sure they know the rules.  If you've taught your children not to talk to strangers in the real world, teach them not to talk to strangers in the virtual world.  If they have boundaries regarding where they are allowed to go alone in your neighborhood, give them boundaries regarding where they are allowed to go alone on the web.  If you keep an eye on your children while they are outside playing, keep an eye on them while they are online playing.  Maintain an open line of communication.  Ask them about what they are doing and who they are talking to.  You don't have to be a sneaky spy, just an involved parent.

I'd love to hear what rules you have in your house to keep your children safe online.  What websites and programs have you found to learn about internet safety and keep tabs on your children's online activities?

Karissa